Thursday, July 8, 2010

I’m invisible OR Insubstantial

A number of events today led me to realize that i might be invisible Or unsubstantial or maybe both.Or probably just out of Confidence Pants.You might be thinking’ How awesome is THAT?? Not very much..i can tell you. Soooo this is what happened…

First incident:-

I went to the bank to get some cash.There was this very long queue in front of the teller’s station.What’s more…It’s 45C here and i was almost drowning in my sweat despite the Air Conditioners.My mind was boggled and confused and and my thoughts were to say the least CRAZY.My brain was all….AM I GOING TO DIE..…WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?????IS THE WORLD ENDING??????wow …..that girl looks hot!PLEASE GOD DON’T LET ME DIE…I NEED TO BECOME A GREAT SUCCESSFUL SOMETHING BEFORE DYING……IS THIS THE FREAKING APOCALYPSE???????IS IT 2012 ALREADY????

Why would i pause to consider a girl's hotness in the middle of an(albeit imagined)Apocalypse…i have no idea..One more thing…it was the day when all the people from all the galaxies and dimensions come to collect their salaries therefore all sorts of ill-scented people were there…I could smell marijuana and beer and cigarettes and several as yet unidentified scents.Then this very intelligent man from behind me says(very pleasantly)’Are you here to cash your check’ and crazy as i am, i shouted ’NO I’M HERE FOR A FREAKING SEX ORGY’(which is a very offensive thing to say in a bank…or anywhere for that matter)Ah Well OK…..I didn't actually say that but i might as well have said that, because i mean here i am, standing in front of the teller’s station, waiting for my turn,what else do you think i was doing?But even though i didn’t say that, the previously jovial man stared at me weirdly like i did say that(maybe that was because i just stared at him instead of answering).

After what seemed like a mathematically Impossible time it was my turn. AND THE GUY FREAKING IGNORED ME BECAUSE HE HAD A CALL!!! Even after the call he just sat there shuffling notes! So plucking up my courage I said in a stuttering voice:’er…’ That’s exactly what i said.Then Thank GOD he noticed me…I got the cash and ran away from the not-very-pleasant-bodily-odors like my non-existent tail was on fire.

Second incident:-

I was cycling when these two ladies practically apparate in front of me(wtf???why didn’t i turn the bold option off? and btw they WERE witches….DAMN IT! why didn’t i grab their wands? They looked all wrinkly an which-like)and THEN START SHOUTING AT ME because apparently i didn’t knew how to ride a bicycle, was insolent….preposterous for not agreeing with them and the children of this generation are all rotten through and through and what kind of people would let such a bad mannered child loose on the world anyway? Oh God what was the world coming to??Surely The Apocalypse was near.

And all because they apparated in front of me.Witches! And also the word that rhymes with that.

Third incident:-

Is the bold thingy off?no it isn’t. I mean it wasn’t.well the third one wasn’t that big. It only proved My theory of invisibility(which sounds kind of cool) I went to buy some fruits and even though i was the first one to get there the guy just ignored me until i asked him.

There….I am invisible…..or maybe just stupid.

Now that I’ve started writing i just can’t seem to stop.Because its so goddamned FUN! Oh wait…My mother just called me.Well saying CALLED me is kind of an understatement because she let loose a guttural feral snarl which would even summon hellish demons so who am I to resist?A pathetic poor human? But I also feel like ending this post rather----

HEY! LOOK BEHIND RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

There…..That was pretty dramatic.

Ciao folks!

-Arshman

2 comments:

  1. People ignore me all the time, too. Wanna start an invisibility club?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh heyyy!....A real person! :D

    ReplyDelete

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