Saturday, October 2, 2010

Ahem…I have no idea what to name this..:)

For miles and miles you could see the destruction the earthquake had left in its wake. All of the mud houses people had been living in for years,crumbled like ant houses. A new mosque was being built nearby. Workers swarmed the area like ants on an anthill,getting things ready for the Prime minister visit. Cardboard walls were propped on pillars beside the mosque to show the non existent development going on. People were garbed in the same white material of the relief workers. They all looked the same.Their faces etched with the misery they had seen and premature wrinkles forming on their foreheads.

  A teen aged girl was watching all this,sitting on a raft sticking out of what used to be a house. She would have been pretty if she didn’t look dead. Lush brown hair fell in cascades around her heart shaped face. A Greek nose and perfectly formed cherry lips and a complexion like cream with rose petals. The eyes were beautiful too,but they were vacant.Windows to an empty house.They took away all the beauty from her face.

She was wearing the traditional shalwar kameez. It must have been beautiful once. The sleeves frilled with lace and the shirt splashed by a bucket full of different colors. Her green dupatta was flying in the air behind her as though trying to escape her throat to which it was pinned. She looked like a damsel in distress waiting for her prince. The perfect picture of misery,with her head bowed down in her lap and feet hunched up. But there was no prince…just pain.


She should have gotten used to the scenery around her. The fallen down houses,grass growing out sparsely out of the ground,the children walking around barefoot,still perhaps looking for their parents. But she was still living in her own little world. She still thought she was the pedantic little girl who walked around with her nose in the air, feeling sure of her superiority and success. She was destined to be a Queen,she’d gotten scholarships in ever grade,topped every one of them. With a little bit of luck she would be studying abroad by now. In her imagination she was.

She was walking down the corridors of Oxford with the sun shining down on the faces of thousands of people from all over the world. Black,Caucasian,Asian,and South Asians like her. Walking side by side united for education. The elite of the world. The best brains. The reality was far too harsh for her. She couldn’t be stuck in a broken down town in a remote Pakistani area. She was going to be famous. Sitting on a stage,answering the questions of a hundred reporters,a light shining on her face and eager faces from all over the world tuning in to her on their Televisions. She was going to write bestsellers,sing chart toppers. Do whatever it took to be famous and respected all over the world. Be well-known. And she was going to clear the image of Pakistanis as terrorists and extremists. Show it for the peaceful country it was. Run over and by a handful of power hungry maniacs.

  Instead she was sitting here,parents dead,her money squandered by the authorities. Having no future. Having no present. She was alive simply by the power of her imagination.

  There were some other sounds mixed in with the mundane and the innocent now. If she was alert to her surroundings she might have noticed them. As it was, she kept on daydreaming while a young man garbed in black from head to foot  slipped out from behind the shadows. A veil was blowing in the air behind him giving him a surreal appearance. He walked with a feral grace. Putting his feet in precisely the correct place so to not slip in the debris. He suddenly started running, got in front of the Mosque and billowed ‘ALLAH-U-AKBAR’ and slapped his hand on his chest. There was a deafening bang. All the birds in a 5-mile radius flew away in a flurry of wings. There was ash and debris now where the Mosque was. Blackened soot and blood running off the rocks. Limbs and fingers lying in a gross display of carnage. Rafters and broken bricks were lying here and there. some people who were far enough were barely alive,their legs or arms missing or under a broken wall,blood running out of their mouth and a gurgling sound coming out. Somewhere to the side a piece of cloth which might once have been green was pinned under a rock and fluttering in the wind, as though trying to escape. Trying to fly away to Oxford.


Somebody asked me to write an essay for them. So I did. But I also posted it on my blog.I have this need to show off m work. otherwise i die a little. :D

Nobody reads it so He can’t really be discovered…but is it good? :p


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

My brain just exploded....

...and now i have these slimy brain pieces scattered across the room. :(
What a mess!
Why? want to know?
Because of this!
If any of you have ideas similar to aware that I seriously seriously hate you.
What type of girl would want a creepy Pedophile as her boyfriends who tells her constantly he wants to kill her and watches her sleep without her knowing?
The author of this article needs a reality check. She says that reality is underrated. But you're living in it dear lady, you better like it or you're going to have a very sad and pathetic life.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Rejected post ;(


Tia(LaGitanaRoja) and me(mrelizabethbennet) wrote a series of random letters and compiled them as a post BUT it got rejected..SADNESS!

But i got fodder for my blog!…This way I don’t have to write anything because i’m a lazy arse and i can still update my blog and not feel like I’m a lazy arse..Here you go:


Dear Paper cut,

Fuck you!


I can alo use obscene words here! yay!

Dear Doctors,

...I'm also not pregnant

Dear Rock singers,

Humans can't hear above a certain frequency range.
Just to let you know.


This one is my favorite!

Dear School,

Burn down.


Dear Keyboard,

If I ran a knife through you, it wouldn’t hurt your soul.
So that'’s okay, right?



Dear Pimple,

I hope you burn in hell. F*** you.


Dear Drivers,

You're on a road. With other people.
Just to let you know.


Dear Mum,

Yes, I brushed my teeth. Yes, I took a shower. YES, I TOOK A GOOD SHOWER. Yes, my room is clean. Yes, so are my clothes. I have also eaten. YES, I drank a cup of milk. Yes, I also ate my vitamins. My HOMEWORK IS ALSO DONE OMAAHGAWD JUST SHOOT ME WHY DON'T YOU?

We don't have to go through this every morning.


There! Are they good?

(Hint: yes, they are)

About the video thing…I still don’t have batteries..I mean I have to get UP! then I have to get my bike out! then i have to ride it there….ehhhh…then i have to remember about the batteries…

UGH….just thinking about it is making me tired…

But my cousin asked my to give him some games on his USB Drive and I asked for his batteries in exchange!

Isn’t that terribly clever of me…?

No…It’s not


Sunday, July 18, 2010



I was strutting around my room pretending to be my mother when i saw the most amazing thing. A beautiful charming somebody.And i thought to myself who could this charming young man be?

Turns out i was staring in the mirror. So i realized i kind of look cute. Sooo for your benefit…..and you should be really grateful, I’m posting a picture(edited in photoshop for extra effects like the length of the nose) of myself. There you go:



I hope your face isn’t melting of from my hotness. But if it is I’m sorry.

Also if you’re going to propose me, proceed! only I’m studying right now so you might have to wait. But I’m sure you won’t mind waiting if you get ME.

But you’re probably dead from the heat waves coming off your desktop. Oh…yeah. Sorry about that.


That’s going to be a famous Bye alternative one day…believe me!

Saturday, July 17, 2010


I changed my font.I think this one looks more friendly.

Sooo….This is what happened to me this week:

  I was lying down in my bed reading a book(The Golem’s eye) and occasionally checking my pulse to see if maybe I'd died of the heat(45C), when suddenly i had a brilliant idea! My mother and sister were sleeping. I as the only one awake so why don’t I go get some jaman ?My mother hates them, I love them, so naturally they’re not allowed in the house.

   So i got out of the house. heedless of the scorching sun, cycled to the fruit shop and turned back without the slightest worry in my mind,images of luxuries flitting through my mind(lying down with a bowl full of fruit reading a book with my legs propped up on the wall with GOOD music playing in the background and lights off…that’s luxury for me). As i was thinking of this a horrible thought flitted it’s way in my mind. GUESS WHAT?!?!!?!? Mr-Self-proclaimed-Genius locked himself out of the house without a key!

Oh God…you can’t imagine my horror….I panicked! Hurriedly i estimated my monetary value…the clothes i was wearing were about 1400 Rupees,my mobile about 13000Rupees,My cycle 300Rupees=17200Rupees in total. And if they cut of my hands and legs and made me beg the riches were indefinite. For the first time I acknowledged the existence of the sun and possible molesters and cycle snatchers and maybe even fruit snatcher(who knows?) MY FRUITS!!!  I’m sure you can’t imagine the heat….so i suggest an experiment…..1.boil some water

                    2.put it in a bucket

                    3.throw it on yourself

BUT if you maybe like your skin unblemished, better not do it.

Fortunately nothing exciting happened…i just cycled around here and there(with sweat running down my face and going in my nose and almost drowning me). Incidentally I also ate the jamans. After an hour i gathered enough courage to knock and fortunately for me she was alreadu awake9saving me a lot of scolding)

So an entire afternoon wasted. :( UNDER a searing scorching sun)

and guess whose fault all of this was? That’s right! The man who thought that houses should have doors. You might think I’m spewing nonsense here but seriously we DON’T need doors! If for example we didn’t have a horrible metal gate at our house i would have been able to enter it without any cumbersome(it’s Really heavy) key. I would have been saved the trouble of being mortally afraid of potential molesters. I am so not going to have a door in my house.

Bye People!

P.S Take off your door today!


Thursday, July 8, 2010

I’m invisible OR Insubstantial

A number of events today led me to realize that i might be invisible Or unsubstantial or maybe both.Or probably just out of Confidence Pants.You might be thinking’ How awesome is THAT?? Not very much..i can tell you. Soooo this is what happened…

First incident:-

I went to the bank to get some cash.There was this very long queue in front of the teller’s station.What’s more…It’s 45C here and i was almost drowning in my sweat despite the Air Conditioners.My mind was boggled and confused and and my thoughts were to say the least CRAZY.My brain was all….AM I GOING TO DIE..…WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?????IS THE WORLD ENDING??????wow …..that girl looks hot!PLEASE GOD DON’T LET ME DIE…I NEED TO BECOME A GREAT SUCCESSFUL SOMETHING BEFORE DYING……IS THIS THE FREAKING APOCALYPSE???????IS IT 2012 ALREADY????

Why would i pause to consider a girl's hotness in the middle of an(albeit imagined)Apocalypse…i have no idea..One more thing…it was the day when all the people from all the galaxies and dimensions come to collect their salaries therefore all sorts of ill-scented people were there…I could smell marijuana and beer and cigarettes and several as yet unidentified scents.Then this very intelligent man from behind me says(very pleasantly)’Are you here to cash your check’ and crazy as i am, i shouted ’NO I’M HERE FOR A FREAKING SEX ORGY’(which is a very offensive thing to say in a bank…or anywhere for that matter)Ah Well OK…..I didn't actually say that but i might as well have said that, because i mean here i am, standing in front of the teller’s station, waiting for my turn,what else do you think i was doing?But even though i didn’t say that, the previously jovial man stared at me weirdly like i did say that(maybe that was because i just stared at him instead of answering).

After what seemed like a mathematically Impossible time it was my turn. AND THE GUY FREAKING IGNORED ME BECAUSE HE HAD A CALL!!! Even after the call he just sat there shuffling notes! So plucking up my courage I said in a stuttering voice:’er…’ That’s exactly what i said.Then Thank GOD he noticed me…I got the cash and ran away from the not-very-pleasant-bodily-odors like my non-existent tail was on fire.

Second incident:-

I was cycling when these two ladies practically apparate in front of me(wtf???why didn’t i turn the bold option off? and btw they WERE witches….DAMN IT! why didn’t i grab their wands? They looked all wrinkly an which-like)and THEN START SHOUTING AT ME because apparently i didn’t knew how to ride a bicycle, was insolent….preposterous for not agreeing with them and the children of this generation are all rotten through and through and what kind of people would let such a bad mannered child loose on the world anyway? Oh God what was the world coming to??Surely The Apocalypse was near.

And all because they apparated in front of me.Witches! And also the word that rhymes with that.

Third incident:-

Is the bold thingy off?no it isn’t. I mean it wasn’t.well the third one wasn’t that big. It only proved My theory of invisibility(which sounds kind of cool) I went to buy some fruits and even though i was the first one to get there the guy just ignored me until i asked him.

There….I am invisible…..or maybe just stupid.

Now that I’ve started writing i just can’t seem to stop.Because its so goddamned FUN! Oh wait…My mother just called me.Well saying CALLED me is kind of an understatement because she let loose a guttural feral snarl which would even summon hellish demons so who am I to resist?A pathetic poor human? But I also feel like ending this post rather----


There…..That was pretty dramatic.

Ciao folks!


Thursday, May 6, 2010

First Post

Sooo first ever post…..

Let’s talk about the things that inspired me to make a blog.


3.The growing conviction that nobody in the real world understands me(TEENAGER ALERT!!!)

And now to the details

g would help.I hope it does.

2.I recently registered at sparknotes and met all these amazing people from around the world.Most of them have blogs and anyway i wanted to show off.:-) Also it seems professional to have a blog.

3.LIKE most of the teenagers i also feel like nobody understands me and my ideas,like everyone is against me and they don’t listen to me so i turned to the saner world of interwebz for help.

well that's all….can’t think of anything else….

horrible thing of the day:somebody on facebook(no idea who,i just like to open up random people’s profiles)wrote in the fave book section:Books and favorites are words which should not occur in one sentense. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!! I COULD GO ON A KILLING SPREE!!!!!!!!!

awesome thing of the day:I made a blog! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!